His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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