I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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