just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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