My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
