we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
