I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
