they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
