she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
