got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
try to milk me bitch
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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