You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
