he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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