Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
