I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
