he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
