Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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