i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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