You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
