I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
