took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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