i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
