Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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