i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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