Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
