i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
