if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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