I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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