Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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