hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
