I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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