I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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