His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize