clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
40s are totally the cure
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