Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
