Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
