Say something about gay babies.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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