'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
