For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
