Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
