Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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