Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
