I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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