guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
