I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
