Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
