this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize