you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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