I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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