maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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