my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think your dad took our porno
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
