Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
