This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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