That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
