i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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