I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
