Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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