I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
