he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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