Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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