either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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